Here are some Accounting Jokes for Accounting Students to release some stress!
A Tax inspector, a VAT(Value Added Tax) inspector and an Accountant were in the urinal performing their morning constitutional before a meeting. The Tax Inspector finishes first and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the VAT Inspector and the Accountant, he say "Tax Inspectors are trained to be extremely thorough". The VAT Inspector is second and finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single towel and makes sure that he dries every drop of water from his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says "VAT Inspectors are not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient". The Accountant finishes and walks straight for the door. "Accountants learn not to piss on their hands."
Q. What's the definition of an extrovert accountant? A. One who looks at your shoes when he is talking to you rather than his own.
Q. What's the definition of an accountant? A. Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Q. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
An accountant, banker and solicitor were called in to see an important client
"I am dying and i want to take it all with me" he said
You will each take one of these envelopes containing £1m and put it
in my coffin just before they screw down the lid.
They all agreed to comply.
The client died and at the funeral they all put their envelopes in the coffin and the man was duly buried.
At the wake in the pub the three found themselves in a corner
The banker said "As we're on our own I have a confession to make
Old Barard was a skinflint who never said thank you for all i did for him so before I put the envelope in I took out £10,000 .
"I'm glad you said that "said the solicitor " I agree he was a mean old *** and I took £20,000 out to cover my pain and under recoveries on scale"
They looked at the accountant who smiled and said "I am surprised at you both I put a cheque in for the full amount"
Just for laughs xD